seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
