I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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