Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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