had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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