girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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