frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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