Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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