I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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