i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
