dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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