So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
