Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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