FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
