I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
