What a fucking waste of an outfit
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
