weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Please don't give away my fajitas
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
