I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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