Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
