Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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