I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
