So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
