She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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