Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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