im about as happy as oj after his trial
i love accidental penises.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
