I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
