I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
