You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
