Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I wish you could order shots online.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
