I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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