hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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