i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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