Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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