I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
