I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
