Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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