Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
