did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
