Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
