Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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