took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
