There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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