I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
