saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
