adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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