i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
