Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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