All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
