let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
