He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
