so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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